Inner Turmoil for Team Baby Kitteh

*Warning The following events and pictures may be graphic for some.*

It came as quite a shock for Jamie Ferraioli, General Manager of Baby Kitteh, when she saw the latest picture taken by paparazzi of the team’s mascot, Spike, as they snuck into a birthday party he was attending.

Witnesses at the party said that when reporters asked Spike about how he felt the season was progressing for team Baby Kitteh, he abruptly began to throw a tantrum, burst out and said “F*** that team. All Ferraioli does all day is play with those stupid miniature people with s@&* on their heads. She should be focusing on the games! We’re f***ed!”

When asked for a comment, Ferraioli exclaimed "Not my baby!"

Upon investigation, it was discovered what exactly those “stupid miniature people with s@&* on their heads” were. Spike posted this picture on his blog, ranting about how Ferraioli doesn’t care about the team and doesn’t care about him.

He continued to describe how he planned to rally team Baby Kitteh to vote Ferraioli off the team as GM and begin looking for a new leader.

It is unknown if Ferraioli is aware of the mutilation resulting from Spike’s jealous rage on one of her “stupid miniature people with s@&* on their heads.” But once she does find out, the tension in the locker room will be, for sure, thick enough to cut with a cake knife.

How far will this conflict between Ferraioli and Spike go and how will it affect team dynamics on game day? Will this inner turmoil for team Baby Kitteh allow The Lucky Ducky Truckers a win to make up for last week’s last minute loss to that skanky Victorious Secret team? It sure looks that way if Baby Kitteh doesn’t get their house in order first.

VS.

A Tale of Two Brothers

By himself, Eli Manning seems to be a well put together individual. Starting QB for the NY Giants.. sexy.. and of course his big Superbowl win in 2008. But on the inside, Eli is a very disturbed guy who carries a chip on his shoulder. It is said he is on several medications to help him cope with his serious condition, which keeps him in check for most of his games.. most.. that is, until he is forced to come face to face with his big brother, whom Eli blames for his deteriorating psyche. Eli suffers from, you heard it folks, Siblingous Rivalrarious.

This condition stems from intense jealousy towards the great Peyton Manning, starting from Eli's toddler years. It began innocently enough.. a noogie here, an innocent name calling there.. but with each insult Eli became more insecure. Eli tried his darndest to beat his bigger, way cooler brother, but to no avail. Peyton was just so.. AWESOME!

The torment continued throughout the boys' childhood, and Eli continued to try to do anything to prove he was better that Peyton. But with every failure, Eli was ridiculed and laughed at by his own brother and father. Once it was made obvious Eli would never win over the heart of his beloved father, he decided to try to please his mother by doing housework, cooking, and even wearing her pretty heels around the house. But much to Eli's dismay, this did not work either.. as mother was extremely against the gay community.

The boys eventually moved on, Peyton gaining entrance into prestigious NFL

and Eli seeking medical help for much of his teenage years. It is said that one of

Eli's doctors bribed the NFL to allow poor little Eli to play in the NFL too, as a

sort of "therapy". However, nothing can prepare Eli for facing his super-human brother.

"Boo hoo hoo, baby brother. You're gonna loooose! Wah!!"

::sniffle::

Chances are, Eli will once again be leaving the field defeated, in tears, possibly

even sobbing uncontrollably, at the hands of his highly talented brother, Peyton.

VICTORIOUS SECRET VS. BABIES AND PUSSIES..?

vs

One chilly night in Mocktober, Tony Romo was getting all ready for beddie. He brushed his perfect, pearly white teeth ; put on his feety pajamas; and hopped into bed and under his favorite Pretty Pretty Princess sheets. He was just drifting off into dream land when a ghost suddenly appeared at his bedside! The ghastly creature scared the piss out of Tony Romo.. then he saw that it was Jessica Simpson. (Which should've scared the piss out of him even more.) "Baby.. you came back to me..!...??" he cried, but she replied, "No you raging homo. I'm the ghost of football- mistakes- past. I am here to show you what an awful QB you are..."

Before he could think of any kind of rebuttle, they were whisked away to Tony Romo's past..

"THERE'S NO CRYING IN FOOTBALL!",

the Jessica-Simpson-ghost screamed. "I was soo not crying.." Romo tried to reason, "..I got turf in my eyes." "Well whatever the case may be," the ghost said to him, "it doesn't change the fact that you're a pansy."



"Wellll.. that was THEN." Romo declared. "I'm a big boy now."


Under her breath, the ghastly Jessica said "I wouldn't be so confident in the "big" department, tic-tac-dick.."












The next stop was Romo's present. Yes, maybe he had stopped crying everytime the other team scored, but that was only because he dreamed of himself scoring with nearly ever guy on the other team..





















Romo even suggested the Cowboys change their colors.. because he thought the navy blue took away from his darling bedroom eyes. Naturally, no one went for it.

"If this continues through this Sunday," Miss Ghost warned, "VICTORIOUS SECRET is going to hang you by your very own Pink Crush thong from atop the goal post for your viewing displeasure as they beat all your other "PUSSY" teammates to a pulp."

That thought was meant to scare Romo, but as he fantasized about which players would actually be reaching into his pants to retrieve his panties.. a look of excitement crept onto his face.. Jason Witten perhaps? or maybe that sex machine Ronnie Brown.. Romo did always fantasize about the big black ones..

But before Romo could get a good hard on, a horrifying image of his future was flashed before him..

It was the sexiest QB of them all.. Peyton Manning.

"I SWARE TO CHRIST TONY HOMO.. IF YOU TOUCH MY ASS

ONE MORE TIME, YOU BETTER START WEARING YOUR HELMET

ON YOUR PICKLE, COS THAT'S WHERE THIS BALL'S GOING."